Faith’s Boudoir Journey
Client Review
She arrived at the studio in a flurry, crying in a panic that she was late. Everything that could get in her way that morning did. She absolutely could not miss this session. It was so much more than coming for a day of prancing around in lingerie and getting some fun photos to share with her partner.
We got her started with some snacks and water to calm down and reassure her there was no issue with her session and we had all the time in the world. Soon, we started with hair and makeup making her feel rejuvenated and relaxed. She shared with us the real reason she was there for a photoshoot… but I’ll let her tell the story herself…
In Her Own Words…
It all started the day my cousin-in-law, Patty, invited me to Kaylee’s Facebook group. Years ago, I knew a photographer who did boudoir and I remember thinking, “I would love to do that!”
But there were many things blocking my confidence to do it. Like many women, I was crazy self-conscious about my body. As a kid, I had been overweight, and as a teen, I was shamed for further weight gain. From my mid-twenties on, I’d had a pretty rough go of it. In 2009, several things occurred in my life, the combination of which amounted to disabling health issues that kept me from working, doing the things I loved, and pursuing my dreams.
I had never felt comfortable or even adequate in my own skin, but when my health began to decline, I felt broken and betrayed. Worst of all, I’d been deeply traumatized from constant religious sexual shaming growing up. (Like, demonizing women and their sexuality kind of shaming, and “your body belongs to your husband” kind of stuff. ) So, add all that to a soup pot, stir it together, and the result…
I HATED my body.
Hated it for YEARS.
And I never felt like it was mine.
But I’d been trying so hard to love myself, and the day I accepted Patty’s invitation, something shifted. I opened the page and I was immediately entranced by her boudoir photos posted in the group! I thought, “Holy crap, that’s my cousin!” I continued scrolling and looking at Kaylee’s other amazing photos.
I…Became…Obsessed!!
I thought, “I want to look like that!” But more than anything, I wanted to FEEL that beautiful, that sexy, that entrancing. And most of all, I wanted to love my body and know it was okay to be who I am, exactly as I am.
I told my partner about it, but I was worried about the expense. It seemed impractical and frivolous, and I felt guilty for wanting to spend so much on myself when there were other things we could use the money for - stuff that seemed a lot more important than “just a bunch of pictures.” I told my partner and he said, “Do it!” because he’s the most supportive person on the planet, and he could see how much it meant to me (more than even I did at that point). So I grabbed hold of the opportunity like it was a life preserver and scheduled an appointment just in time for my birthday.
I was so nervous the day of, but excited, too! When I arrived, Kaylee had set out my favorite snacks and drinks, and then the hair and makeup artist got to work! I told them about how nervous I was, and how desperately I wanted to love and embrace my body, especially after disability. They were so kind and encouraging as they listened. I talked about the religious shaming, how I felt like my body and sexuality had never really belonged to me or been safe to express, and how badly I wanted to reclaim myself! They were wonderfully reaffirming, and I felt heard and uplifted and pampered all in one!
Then I did some stretches, put on my first outfit, and we got to it!
Kaylee was awesome. She was a total pro, and at no point did I feel like my body was being “examined” or judged. I felt nervous in my lingerie, but when I said I wasn’t sure if I looked okay - especially my butt - Kaylee was like, “C’mere.” She turned the camera around to show me one of the pictures and I thought, “Dang! THAT’S what it looks like back there?! No wonder my partner loves my booty!” (Which was the start of my love affair with my own butt!)
Kaylee helped me feel confident in each shot as she continued to direct me. I even asked if we could try some particular poses and she was totally game! Before long, I was happily prancing about the studio, naked and loving it! When we were done, I felt SO good on the drive home. I was all dolled up, so I took myself out to dinner to celebrate ME! About a week later, Kaylee had the pictures ready for me to pick for my album.
I was gobsmacked.
Image after image, I wanted to cry because they were so beautiful - I was so beautiful! I had no idea I looked like that! And it was SO. HARD. TO. CHOOSE!! Like, which-kid-do-I-keep kind of hard! And when I got the album…well, I actually opened the box live in the boudoir group, so you can see that for yourself if you like.
I couldn’t believe how amazing I looked. And I was totally addicted. And I swear, it was even better the second time around! I felt even more confident and excited! I finally felt like I OWNED my sexyness!
Doing the boudoir shoots have truly been some of the most empowering experiences of my life. Currently, I work as a transformational coach, and I primarily focus on helping others who want to heal sexual wounds after religious shaming so they can love their bodies and love themselves. One of the things I often ask is, “Have you done a boudoir shoot?” As a professional healer, I recommend it to my clients.
That’s how big it is.
I will forever be grateful for the experiences I’ve had with boudoir.
- Faithie B
